A blast from my past.

[SS]Midnight · 10-27-2006

I worked the admin side of Navy squadrin plane upkeep, and I saw plenty of this kind of paperwork pass through my workcenter...

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem.
They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QUANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P = Means the problem logged by the pilot.
S = Means the solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Chenzo · 10-27-2006

hahahahaha

oldie but goodie.

[SS]Rator · 10-27-2006

lol my fave...

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

[SS]Chief · 10-28-2006

Midnight.....admin byotch! Good stuff Midnight...you little AZ you.

11-17-2006

plzdiesmil throwingro

10-27-2006	#1
[SS]Midnight Lima Oscar Lima! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 8,276	A blast from my past. I worked the admin side of Navy squadrin plane upkeep, and I saw plenty of this kind of paperwork pass through my workcenter... After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QUANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P = Means the problem logged by the pilot. S = Means the solution and action taken by the engineers. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with words. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!" -- White Goodman

10-27-2006	#3
[SS]Rator Sea Snipers® Owner/Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: US Posts: 24,237	lol my fave... P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. I'm gonna ask you questions, and every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you... they will be things you will miss!

10-28-2006	#4
[SS]Chief Brew Master Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Desert Posts: 7,070	Midnight.....admin byotch! Good stuff Midnight...you little AZ you. "Give a man a beer, he'll waste an afternoon. But teach a man to brew, and he'll waste a lifetime!"

10-27-2006	#2
Chenzo Commies Beware Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Norad Posts: 2,978	hahahahaha oldie but goodie.

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11-17-2006	#5
[SSr]LouSaynis Posts: n/a	plzdiesmil throwingro