My needs and her needs

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that broad knows I'm smarter than her.

[NEO-X]

Thats about the funniest shit I've read in months.. OMG!!!

Dude thanks for the laugh..

Wow...

That is some ownage right there

[Sabotage]

That was the best story I have heard in a very VERY long time, that was great.

lol. sweet, sweet revenge

That was an email I got.

My story is similar.

I went to Vegas with a girlfriend and I paid for the gas, I drove, I paid for our food, I paid for our drinks, I paid for the room, and I paid for our entertainment. She paid for her own gambling. After we got back I heard she was telling people how cheap I was and how I made her pay her own way.

I decided we should go out for a really nice dinner. I told her I would take her anywhere she wanted. It was going to be her night and she could have whatever she wanted from where ever she wanted. I told her to make the reservations and let me know. She picked some fancy place that she could brag to her friends about. I ate like a king, eating things I’ll probably never see again. When I was done I told her I had to go to the restroom. What I didn’t tell her was that I was leaving.

She called me about 10 minutes after I left to see if I was okay. I said, “There seems to be a lot of traffic for this time of night.” There was a pause before she realized I serious. Then she asked how she was going to get home and who was going to pay the $300.00 plus bill. I told her those weren’t concerns to me.

I left her there with the bill and no way home. We haven’t spoken since.

[Sabotage]

Good for you man, show her who the king is.

Originally posted by [SS]Vapid
She called me about 10 minutes after I left to see if I was okay. I said, “There seems to be a lot of traffic for this time of night.” There was a pause before she realized I serious. Then she asked how she was going to get home and who was going to pay the $300.00 plus bill. I told her those weren’t concerns to me.

PWNEDSMILE nice jobregularsmi with some people, that needs to happen more often

[hasha]

well....i dont know bout being smarter.....cuz ya still didnt get any....HAHAHA.... women can be very vindictive...

[NEO-X]

Originally posted by hasha
well....i dont know bout being smarter.....cuz ya still didnt get any....HAHAHA.... women can be very vindictive...

Yeah unfortunately whether we like it or not.. women have the power of sex over us.. in that they hold the key. And if they feel like locking down the fortress.. then well you're pretty much SOL

[[SS]Raiden]

plenty of fish in the sea, to hell with it. some can be vindictive yes, others actually are just pigs and like sex the way we do.. i'd say good catch!!!!!

[hasha]

Originally posted by [SS]Raiden
plenty of fish in the sea, to hell with it. some can be vindictive yes, others actually are just pigs and like sex the way we do.. i'd say good catch!!!!!

but just remember 1 thing....if you find women that like it as much as men (the ones you call pigs), they probly do it as often as men and with as many men as possible.....wonder what ur comin home with tomorrow?????