You know what's funny? - Page 103

AEJustin1 · 09-24-2010

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

...She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[SS]Midnight · 10-02-2010

[SS]Midnight · 10-07-2010

Not too smart hillbilly is primed as zombie food. LOAD YOUR SIDEARM YA YOKLE! LOL

[SS]Wally · 10-17-2010

[SS]Midnight · 10-18-2010

11-03-2010

AEJustin1 · 11-03-2010

lol awesome

[SS]Chief · 11-03-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by [SS]Bassani

Another happy MAC owner...

[SS]Chief · 11-04-2010

Okay, I actually did a search and couldn't find this posted anywhere. I'm surprised as this was posted on craigslist sometime in November 2008...but it still made me 'raff.

Quote:

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)

Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

[SS]Rator · 11-04-2010

lmfao, thats right, FREE Mc Hammer pants! Sold!

11-08-2010

AEJustin1 · 11-08-2010

LOL what??? AWESOME!

11-08-2010

lol, I know...

[SS]Midnight · 11-12-2010

11-17-2010

http://twitpic.com/37hurc

If you dont get it, it's a Ubisoft game saying that they are waiting for Respawn Entertainment (the old IW guys)

09-24-2010	#1531
AEJustin1 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Lexington, Ky Posts: 1,232	Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. ...She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. If you don't stand behind our troops. Please feel free to stand in front of them... PROUD to be an AMERICAN!

10-02-2010	#1532
[SS]Midnight Lima Oscar Lima! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 8,276	"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!" -- White Goodman

10-07-2010	#1533
[SS]Midnight Lima Oscar Lima! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 8,276	Not too smart hillbilly is primed as zombie food. LOAD YOUR SIDEARM YA YOKLE! LOL "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!" -- White Goodman

10-17-2010	#1534
[SS]Wally ‘The Umbrella Man’ Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Minneapolis, MN USA Posts: 8,674	"Guns don't kill people, lasers do." - Wally "I don't like repeat offenders, I like dead offenders". - Ted Nugent Born On Date: 1-30-2007

10-18-2010	#1535
[SS]Midnight Lima Oscar Lima! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 8,276	"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!" -- White Goodman

11-03-2010	#1537
AEJustin1 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Lexington, Ky Posts: 1,232	lol awesome If you don't stand behind our troops. Please feel free to stand in front of them... PROUD to be an AMERICAN!

11-04-2010	#1540
[SS]Rator Sea Snipers® Owner/Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: US Posts: 24,237	lmfao, thats right, FREE Mc Hammer pants! Sold! I'm gonna ask you questions, and every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you... they will be things you will miss!

11-08-2010	#1542
AEJustin1 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Lexington, Ky Posts: 1,232	LOL what??? AWESOME! If you don't stand behind our troops. Please feel free to stand in front of them... PROUD to be an AMERICAN!

11-12-2010	#1544
[SS]Midnight Lima Oscar Lima! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 8,276	"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!" -- White Goodman

11-17-2010	#1545
Bassani Posts: n/a	http://twitpic.com/37hurc If you dont get it, it's a Ubisoft game saying that they are waiting for Respawn Entertainment (the old IW guys) Last edited by Bassani : 11-17-2010 at 04:11 PM.

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