The Cat

[[SS]Snakebite]

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a ***** on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

[[SS]Snakebite]

A young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic
pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live
frogs.
The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with
complete instructions."
The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody's
watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter,
"I'll take one."
As the man packages the frog, he quitely says to her, "Just follow
the instructions."
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As
soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the
instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what
is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow
the frog to do what he has been trained to do.



She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her
surprise nothing happens!
The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this
point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of
the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please
call the pet store." So, the blonde calls the pet store. The man
says, "I'll be right over."

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The
blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything
according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog,
stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm
only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

[[SSr]LouSaynis]

THATS GOOD!!laffyguy