[SS]Blitz
07-20-2005, 08:06 PM
GOT TO LOVE EM - MAINE
A guy from Maine passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow,but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're staying in a Maine hotel?
When you call the front deskand say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies,"Go ahead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a Maine redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his
pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Maine to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do they call reruns of"Hee Haw" in Maine?
Documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Maine. If it had been invented anywhere else, it
would have been called a teethbrush.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Maine State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Gotany I.D.?"
and the driver replies "Boutwut?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the $3 million Maine State Lottery?
(Come on- this is funny!)
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Governor's mansion in Maine burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books-POOF - up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
~~~~A new lawwas recently passed in Maine. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walks into a bar in Maine and orders a mudslide.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania".
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist,"said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
"The man says,"I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar... "It's okay boys, he's oneof us!"
A guy from Maine passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow,but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're staying in a Maine hotel?
When you call the front deskand say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies,"Go ahead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a Maine redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his
pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Maine to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do they call reruns of"Hee Haw" in Maine?
Documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Maine. If it had been invented anywhere else, it
would have been called a teethbrush.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Maine State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Gotany I.D.?"
and the driver replies "Boutwut?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the $3 million Maine State Lottery?
(Come on- this is funny!)
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Governor's mansion in Maine burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books-POOF - up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
~~~~A new lawwas recently passed in Maine. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walks into a bar in Maine and orders a mudslide.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania".
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist,"said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
"The man says,"I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar... "It's okay boys, he's oneof us!"