AEJustin1
05-02-2009, 05:03 AM
The following is an actual ad that was posted in the Craigs List Personals:
(For the record i thought this was hillarious so i just had to share it with everyone!)
Posted to Craig's List Personals:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 AM EST I was the guy with the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on
me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow
come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to
crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is,
I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold
outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911
.45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster
for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon
when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal
of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also
ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I
took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in
your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and
four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your
credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by
Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. I threw the
wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
windshield and side window out and keyed the driver's side. I called a
bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your bill in
case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and
I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's
going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I
could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to
the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I
guess while he traced the number). I'd also like to apologize for not
killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping
that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not
be so lucky.
P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!
(For the record i thought this was hillarious so i just had to share it with everyone!)
Posted to Craig's List Personals:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 AM EST I was the guy with the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on
me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow
come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to
crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is,
I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold
outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911
.45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster
for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon
when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal
of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also
ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I
took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in
your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and
four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your
credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by
Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. I threw the
wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
windshield and side window out and keyed the driver's side. I called a
bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your bill in
case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and
I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's
going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I
could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to
the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I
guess while he traced the number). I'd also like to apologize for not
killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping
that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not
be so lucky.
P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!